i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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