You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
