is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
