Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
