I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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