Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
