Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
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He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
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Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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