So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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