i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
