I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The uberlube is also flammable
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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