I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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