Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
