from now on my penis is your penis
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
