I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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