At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
