If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
