Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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