You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
