we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
