Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
