i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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