I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
