if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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