Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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