that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
