he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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