If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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