I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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