I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
