Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
