drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
