Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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