I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
