did you get engaged???
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
