Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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