I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I love you. Go after that dick
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