Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Congratulations! We have a period
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