i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
