we're blogging at a bar
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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