Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
