Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
