i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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