I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
