Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
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Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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