i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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