he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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