Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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