put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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