Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
