remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
