you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
