just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
