I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
