im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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