I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
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Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
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Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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