I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
