the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
