I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
