My sheets look like a crime scene.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
