Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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