Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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