I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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