I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
