RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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