we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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